Cardinals 34 Rams 17 New York Jets at NEW ENGLAND 10

He gets to play in a dome with mostly neutral fans, against a team that can't defend or rush the passer, and stick the knife into his old laundry while building the statistical case that he's a Hall of Fame quarterback.He also gets to look at what his wife looks like now (judging from what has happened in the last decade, Brenda will be the hottest woman in the world by 2018), as opposed to what she looked like during his Ram days.If Tim Hightower or Beanie Wells would just turn into Marshall Faulk already, the man would not be able to call the plays at the line of scrimmage for the self-satisfied chuckling. I have to say, Captain Jebus, if this is what a life in faith gets you, I might have to rethink things Kurt's God is bringing it. In another one to two years, this Rams team could be mediocre again, at least as long as Steven Jackson is having an utterly ridiculous MVP year for a four-12 team.They've managed to start to cobble together some spare part wideouts (Danny Amendola, Brandon Gibson) that have promise, the defense hasn't quit (a tremendously good sign), and they do actually seem to be getting better, week to week.But their God is not Kurt's God, and they also don't have anyone to stop Larry Fitzgerald, let alone a healthy and motivated Anquan Boldin, and a murderously effective Steve Breaston The circus comes back to town for one week only, Ram Fan Can't be a fun game for you. Cardinals 34, Rams 17 New York Jets at NEW ENGLAND (-10.5) Here is our second squash game, with the reeling Jets coming to Foxborough for the payback game of the year.

The Jets could stay in this one by running it 40 times, limiting their turnovers, and having Darrelle Revis eliminate Randy Moss-you know, the same thing that you did in September. But with Mark "The Sanchise" Sanchez continuing to show Joey Harrington-esque ball control and accuracy issues, I'm not liking his chances. Besides, Papa Bill is very, very angry, and will be taking out his Run It Up stick for this one Jet Fan, maybe you want to schedule some yard work Maybe some gutter cleaning. Patriots 41, Jets 17 CINCINNATI at Oakland (10) Picking Bengals games this year has been a walk. You ignore the lineage, enjoy the fact that the rest of the world hasn't adapted yet to the New Cedric Benson, and watch the lucky covers come in early and the solid wins come in late.They are just a Brandon Stokely miracle from being eight-one and breathing down the neck of the smoke and mirrors Colts for the number one seed in the conference, despite a few injuries.They've have a good defense for the better part of a year now, and in the last month Carson Palmer has gone back to his pre-knee injury self, albeit with less exciting weapons at wide receiver. It's the first good thing to happen to Ohio this millennium, I think.

The game is at home, the Bengals are going to sleep on it after sweeping the Steelers, and it's all Trap Gamey To which I say, thank you Please keep betting against this Bengals team I need all the help I can get with these picks. Bengals 27, Raiders 13 SAN DIEGO at Denver (-0) Astute readers of this blog will have clicked on Monday night's Enemies List, which is a feature I do for the good people over at NESW Sports.The temptation to lead off last week's list of odious sports figures with LaDanian Tomlinson was, frankly, off the charts. After going all-in with him for my roto auction team, I've gotten injuries and squat, and he looked for all the world like a completely spent figure, despite still being the only three-down back on the roster.Darren Sproles might not survive with a full workload, but Lord knows he was actually doing something with his touches, unlike the 30 going on 60 LdT. And then my laundry comes to town, and I dutifully put him on the bench, because my laundry generally keeps running backs down, if for no other reason than the opponent will spend all day gleefully throwing to the TE.And what does this SOB do on my bench Go off for two touchdowns and nearly 100 yards, just like it's old times, in a Chargers win Maximum Fail I hate you, Tomlinson. The Broncos will lose anyway, because Chris Simms under center for Kyle Orton is making Bronco Fan even more appreciative of the Greatest Winner In Pro Football History and his neckbeard.And the real reason why will be that Antonio Gates will absolutely own Denver, because when you have Brian Dawkins covering big TEs at this point in his career, that is what happens. Chargers 27, Broncos 20 PHILADELPHIA at Chicago (3) As I started writing this pick, the subway I was on decided to stall and then go to the entirely wrong destination due to "mechanical issues." Adding to the fun was that the last five minutes of the trip to the wrong station where spent nudging foot by foot up the platform, then waiting an extra five minutes for the doors to open.

Meanwhile, the train we needed to take back to our original destination left in front of us. It is going to add at least an hour to my commute, if not more, and mean that my kids are going to be bent out of shape from not getting to see much of their Dad tonight. It sucks on every level, and there is nothing to be done but eat it. Now, the question for the reader: did thinking about these two teams cause the train to malfunction Because I would not put it past either of them, really.